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How To Get Your Girl Back

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First of all RELAX. Take a deep breath, let’s not do anything drastic.

Now if this is your typical bi-weekly break up, or whatever, just ride it out like you usually do, but if it feels different this time or last for more than two weeks. Let me help you make moves:

1.) Pull yourself together- Literally

This is the first step that I want you to do throughout the whole “getting her back” process because if you aren’t okay, then you will not be able to do any rekindling of your relationship. Take care of yourself. Keep up your hygiene. Refocus yourself on being healthy and attractive inside and out. Most importantly, reorient yourself towards your other goals in life, often when we lose sight of our goals other aspects of our life start to go downhill as well, such as our relationships.

2.) Reflect

Think about why you two are broken up in the first place. If you need help, go reread the long text messages she sent you again lol. If you can ask her and get a response, do that. Think and reflect on all that went wrong, and all the things she said she needed or wanted that led to the demise of your relationship. This is super important because if you don’t know what’s wrong, guess what? You can’t fix it!

3.) Apologize

Now that you know what you’ve done apologize for it! Apologize for what you did, and how you made her feel. You need to know how you made her feel. A lot of times I find that partners don’t necessarily think what they did was wrong. However, if you concentrate on how you made your partner feel, you feel more empathy because you don’t want to make her feel negative at all because you care for her. Now this isn’t just an ordinary apology, this is an apology with action attached to it. You need a plan, I’m not going to tell you how to get your girl back just so you can drive her crazy again.

4.) Tell her the plan

I was serious. If you want your girl back, you need to be able to assure her that things are going to be different this time around. The only way to do that is by letting her know what your plan for change is. If you need to, write 3 things you are going to do differently for the betterment of your current relationship issue, and share them with her.

5.) Give her some space, but not too much

Here’s what I mean, if you give a girl too much space she might find other things to occupy her time (as in other guys, sorry), OR too much space could give her just enough time to sit and realize that you really aren’t what she wants, or to simply get over you (I’m just being honest). I guess what I’m saying is don’t disappear or go missing. You should check in if you can, ( if you’re not blocked) if she’s not speaking to you sending close-ended messages are fine. For example, “I’m thinking of you”, “I hope you are okay”, and “I miss you” are all good messages to send. Sending messages like these during crucial times like morning and night tells her that she is the first thing on your mind when you wake up and the last thing on your mind before you go to sleep, that means a lot to us. However, don’t be obnoxious. Two texts a day max. Once a day is better, if she’s not responding. The point is to let her know you care, while giving her some time. Giving her the chance to ignore you is better than not saying anything at all sounds funny, but it’s true, trust me.

6.) Show her she is special to you

Let go of your pride. Don’t be that guy that’s too prideful to show his girl some love. Let’s think outside the box! Write her a letter or a poem expressing your feelings. You want her back right? Girls really appreciate you softening up. Also you know her address send her some flowers, or some chocolates, or both ;). Or just a gift period, perhaps something you know she wants, to remind her you know her (hopefully you do). Put your money where your mouth is ladies LOVE THAT. If you want to soften us up this is the way to go. And If you’re going to go this route, don’t talk about it, just be about it. Surprise her! Girls love surprises!

7.) Reconnect

This is the tricky part, you know her better than I do, so this is where you play it by ear. Now during this process, if she allows you to see her, see her! But not before you are ready with your plan. (DO MY STEPS IN ORDER, unless you get her back mid step). Make efforts to see her, stop by and see how she is doing. I’d bring something with you even if it’s her favorite candy or ice cream it’ll soften her and take some of the heat off of you. You can offer to take her out to eat and stuff. Honestly, you have got to reel her back in. We are going about this like she has decided she is done with you, so you effectively have got to court her again/win her back, but you have a drastic advantage, you know her already! In this step, I want you to pay attention to the things she is telling you and how she is acting towards you. You should know whether she is warming up, or getting worse or if you have more work/time to put in, it all depends on what you did. Let her actions set your pace, while still testing the waters.

8.) Remind her why she fell in love with you/ Show her that you can change

Just get back to being your old self, the one that she fell in love with in the first place. We often get comfortable in our relationships and forget to show love and appreciation. This is also an opportunity for you to find opportunities to show her that you are indeed a changed man, especially when it comes to the issue at hand!

I encourage you to stay humble throughout the process. I understand that it can be difficult to go through this process with someone that you have already established a relationship with, but understand that your actions cause reactions and you can’t control which reaction you get. Overall, try your best to be understanding and gentle. If you get frustrated take a moment, or a break-its okay and understandable. Just don’t become disrespectful because it will erase your progress, and you may have to start all over, or blow your chance completely. I also understand that relationships can be unique, so if you have a unique situation don’t hesitate to ASKGIGI.

Good luck getting your girl back!

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