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He’s Just Not That Into You

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Hey girls! I know that it can be hard to figure out if a guy is into you or not, especially when he’s giving mixed signals. So if you’re looking for something serious or someone who is serious about you, lets make sure you aren’t wasting your time.

*Disclaimer: If you’re not looking for anything serious, and the relationship that you have with this person is mutually beneficial for some reason, then by all means keep it up! Just proceed with caution as always!

Here are some things to think about, and some questions to ask yourself to guide you through the dating process:

1.)  Is he trying to get to know you?

Think about it. How much does he actually know about you? Does he know where your from? Your favorite food? Has he asked about your goals and aspirations in life? What about your past life?  What about how your day has been? Typically if he is asking these questions he cares to know the answer, and is actually interested! Furthermore, it is one thing to ask these questions, its another thing if he remembers the things about you, like your favorite color, or things you like to do. He’s a keeper if he applies them to your relationship! We all love a man who will show you he knows you!

2.) Is he putting his best foot forward?

Girl! Is he trying to impress you? Even if you just met him, it is possible to tell if he is trying to portray himself as a nice guy, and as one that you would want to be with. In actuality, he may not be, but he is definitely going to try and put on a show to win your heart, if he’s into you.  Is he courting you? Is he trying to take you out? Another thing, pay attention to his intentions. Is he constantly trying to get in your pants? If he tries, all is not lost, but if its a constant thing, then that’s probably all he wants. And if you’re not into that sort of thing, he isn’t respecting your boundaries, and doesn’t care about them. Don’t be fooled, a guy will straighten up for the girl he wants.

3.) Is he making time for you or giving you the scraps of his time?

There’s a huge difference. Are you the girl he calls up when he’s bored, and has nothing else to do? Or are you the one he is planning to take out, or has plans and time set aside for. Is he eager to see you? This is a great indicator because if he wants to be around you a lot or as much as possible, he is definitely into you!

4.) Does he talk future tense with you? 

Now hold on! This does not necessarily mean talks of marriage or even a relationship because some guys might shy away from that because they don’t yet know what you want. But what about future dates? Literally does he talk about the things that you will do together? Do you get a sense that there will be a next time? Is he saying that there will be a next time? Listen out for that. If he’s not, chances are he’s uninterested, unsure, or indifferent to there being a”next time”.

5.) Displays of Affection

A guy that is into you typically wants to show affection towards you. This could be coming and sitting next to you on a date, subtle touches whenever he can, putting his arm around you, and then later down the line hugs and kisses initiated by him. Public displays of affection are a great indicator because instinctively it means he doesn’t care who sees. In private, when it comes to men, cuddling and caressing is usually reserved for women they are fond of.


6.) Reactions to your emotions/feelings

This is a basic “does he even care?” Is he courteous towards you? If plans have to be canceled is he apologetic? Is he concerned about your changes in mood? If you get upset, does he come to your aid? On a lighter note, does he find joy in your happiness? Does he become proud of you, and excited for you when good things come up? When it comes to dates and spending time together, does he value your preferences. What I mean by that is does he ask/care what you want to do? Don’t get this mixed up with surprises though, we love those! (even if they’re bad, its the thought that counts) For example, during quality time does he ask what you want to watch, or do? These things may sound small, but in the grand scheme of things they are indicative to his feeling towards you.

7.) Security- Is he making you feel secure?

You don’t have to be in a relationship to feel secure in whatever you’re doing. Is he putting you in a compromising situations? Is he make you feel like a priority? Is he reassuring you that you are important to him? Don’t settle for the I’m busy excuse. He may be busy, we all typically are, but there is always enough time in the day to let you know that you are on his mind, by exhibiting this he is showing you that he wants you to know that you matter to him. Take notice.

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